Well to start My Own Prison by Creed was my favorite song, and it has a lot to do with how I envisioned my own prison to look. At one point I wanted to paint/draw it because there was something painfully beautiful about it, but another part of me never wanted to bring that prison into real life.
There were two different ways that I saw my prison, the first was this cage attached to a cliff, with bars that would electrocute me when I tried to touch them and vines around everything. The vines were holding me to the cliff, their thorns piercing my skin, and blood staining my beautiful, flowing white dress. Though I was in so much pain I would never scream, silent in my torment, and with every move to freedom I would cut myself deeper on each thorn. Locked away in this prison I would cry and was in so much torment that it felt like I was losing my mind. There was always something so haunted about this place and beyond the bars I saw nothing, just darkness, only my little cell was lit. The other place was this maze, the type of maze in the labyrinth but darker. There was no light cascaded in from the sky only wall lamps to guide the way. In the middle of this maze is where I was a giant tree looming over head and I was a child in another white dress, always too afraid to venture away from this giant tree. It kept me safe in my darkness, and was there to comfort me when I felt so alone. Anyone that tried to reach me would have to go through the whole maze to find me (that was my guard). It protected me from hard but also kept me far away from the people. After a lot of things happened, I felt trapped and alone but the truth was I had the keys to these places the whole time. It took someone walking through that maze to find me, for me to really free myself. The truth was that not trusting people was even more painful than getting hurt by someone I trusted, and that being alone tormented me more than anything they could do. Even though those places were awful, they are a good reminder of where I've been and how far I've come. Sometimes you just need a little help, to find your freedom.
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Me! Krystal :D Archives
January 2021
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