4/10/2017 0 Comments ClarityYou know the moment between being really awake and asleep (after you've been awake awhile) where your mind slows down and you have absolute clarity? I used to strive for that moment, I remember when I was younger staying awake for hours after feeling like I could go to sleep to stay in that moment, where I felt like I could think about one thing at a time and my mind wasn't a complete mess. Now I try to control my mind better but sometimes it still feels like it is an office on fire with everyone throwing papers and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Basically where chaos takes over and plays its own game, and while I have better control of my mind now, those moments of clarity are nice. That overly exhausted, one track thinking that is easy to follow, flowing from one thought to the next seamlessly. There is a simple kind of peace in that I'm not sure can be replicated.
Everyone thinks differently so feeling this way may not be the same but in some cases exhaustion may be my high. Drugs never did it for me (although I haven't tried many either), alcohol has some nasty side effects, and I'm not a fan of needing these things. I have my video games and that is my addiction but, they can't always sooth my mind, especially now, with worrying about extra things, and feeling a need to be politically correct all of the time. I think about at least five different scenarios for each thing I say on social media (unless I am very tired then honestly I don't give any fucks, but I don't think anyone who does when they are super tired so I'm not alone there lol). I am tired. I really am I'm tired of all the hate and chaos, of having to worry so much about saying something the right way, of all of the illogical decisions that have been made recently. These things make me look forward to those moments of clarity. I just want more of them, I want more peace, and listening, and truth. Those things aren't that difficult to find if we allow each other to tell the truth without instantly getting angry. Sometimes the truth sucks and it isn't the thing that we want to hear, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said, or that it should be censored. Awhile ago I was told I didn't know how to talk to transgender people and I suppose I don't because I was treating the transgender person (who said this) just like everyone else, and since that day I've held my tongue on a lot of things because I don't know how to talk to certain groups of people, no matter how kindly I try to say things. This idea that we are teaching each other to keep our thoughts to ourselves if they aren't the popular belief isn't healthy. We need to tell the truth more, we need to talk about things (Like adults, even though most of the time it is adults that aren't acting like adults, but you know what I mean, we need to talk about them calmly and actually listen). Probably one of the most interesting things that a psychology book taught was that we listen to respond, we do not listen to understand. And what they did was have one person talk about an issue, then had the other person repeat what they had just said before responding. Having to repeat what was said caused the person responding to have more clarity, because they were actually thinking about what had been said. I have no idea how I could get people to do this more but I would love to see it practiced more often. I would love to see more people actually listen to each other, and respond with a clear mind instead of an overly passionate one (I am all for passion but sometimes it can get us in trouble, when we only think of the situation from one view point). Think of what we could learn, and I wonder whose views would change in the process. Maybe to start truly listening we just need to realizing whether we are actually listening to understand or just listening to respond. Next time you are upset/angry try it (even if it has to be after the situation passed) ask yourself if you were really listening, and I wonder what you will find. I know doing that has helped me with a lot of situations, and I'm sure it will help me with many more (even if it is hard to admit that we weren't really listening some of those situations).
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